Monday, November 06, 2006

Things i do:

I get anxious. Do you not? how do you react? I react by getting more anxious. the cause explodes if not put out. The topic becomes huge, If I get anxious the cause is usually outside my realm of control, and not having any control becomes a monster issue in my head. Something to work on, though not 100% certain how too.

I get mad. Not like just mad, but like looking or a vent, do not dare get in my path mad. Rabid dog mad. I wanna eat children, go after the family, find something else to hurt mad. Could do anything to almost anyone mad. Bad part is i actually do not wish to harm others, so it boils and brews and bubbles inside. Something to work on, though not 100% certain how too.

I get scared. Not much really scares me, I have no fear of dying, dared death too many times. Have no fear of pain, thats a normal day for me. Snakes, (but still took one on fucker), spiders, (still looking for one worthy of my assault), and one other thing. The one I seem unable to conquer. Something to work on, though not 100% certain how too.

Love my intraspects, now if they would just love back.

A happy day, possibly one of the happiest. Pics seem to be the blog du jour.

FYI: the wine is fermenting well as near as i can tell (should have used clear wrap.). Sounds like a new bottle of pepsi just opened. 3 days til i get a chance to see the color of my frankenstein-ish concoction. My next batch will be brewed with 1/8th the water as Coffee. Since I have no control on the soil used (gives wines alot of its subtle flavors) I will have to *force* my will on it. Batch 2 will be coffee foward.


At 8:39 PM, Blogger La Gringa said...

People would tell you to relax, to keep busy, to think about other things,to do something constructive. But I understand. I'm the same way with depression. Instead of trying to do something constructive or fun, I make myself wallow in it until the whole world seems black. I'm sure not saying that that is the right thing to do -- the opposite -- I'm just saying that I understand.

Good luck with your wine and your anxiety.

Nice pic.

At 9:49 PM, Blogger Liar_Liar said...

Not so anxious, except what to do with next week.......

Not so depressed right now, just dealing with what I need to at the present.

Wine ferments and sits. I just bottle it when its time to do so, but thank you Ruth.

At 10:34 PM, Blogger Liar_Liar said...

Heck, I only have 22 days of now left. Might need to enjoy them.


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