Saturday, December 30, 2006

Aint it funny how

End of the year.


Everywhere i look i see 'year in review'. Makes me wonder if i really want to review my year. I mean really review it. No holds barred. Review.

Either internally or for my long lost readers............. Gawd, how often do you prefer to lie to yourself??? And writing a lie would be even worse...........

opinions???? or would you rather have more 3-legged dog photos?? 3 day voting pool.

Friday, December 29, 2006


Ain't it though?

Monday, December 18, 2006

When I get busy

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the things you forget until you are back in it.

So, I am helping out this restaurant close by through the holiday's since they, well to be honest, really need help. So on my days off (off?!?!?) I bartend. Once upon a time I was a very talented bartender, once upon a time. So, the area of action is the service well, since it is party season and now we have 150 warehouse workers in a restaurant they can not afford and the guy who calls em worthless all year is picking up the tab, open bar.

Me vs. 150 warehouse workers on a friday, and they all have a hotel room across the street, and 2 hours to break the boss.

So i am moving, ripping out top shelf martini's like its the republican national convention and the kennedies crashed it. When i get hit with the perfect ticket.

For those alive who do not know what the perfect ticket is, think perfect storm and i am george clooney. 15 drinks, no two can be made at the same time, 3 or more need a blender, one blender, and not a pop and go beer in sight. The perfect 'crash the bar' ticket.

So the whole time i am ripping these out as fast as my 2 hands can move, all i hear is the printer going..... for the 10 minutes it takes to make 4 different flavored mojito's (if you drink them, I will kill someone you love in revenge) plus all the other crap on this ticket from hell.

When out of nowhere, in my head i hear Sinatra. yuppers, spirit of Frank came too me, and in my head i hear "New York, New York". Suddenly i am a drink making monster.

Back when, If I was truely in the weeds and so over whelmed I should be committing Hari Kari with my wine opener, I came right out when i heard that song, then I am in the Zone, then I can move faster than God, Then All is at peace.

So Yes, Bring the Spouse to your next event. Me and Frank got ya....... Whose thirsty???

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Birthday

So tonight was my best friends b-day. it was a bunch of peeps he works with and me. So therefore tab arrives, and guess who is saddled. yup me. Fuckers, i arrived for a whole hour, had 2 drinks, the midnight shot, and spent 375, in a dive bar.

I am used to my birthday being a no big deal, I do not make a huge one out of it so I know noone else will either, but ffs....... your there 4 hours, not your day, and walk the tab???

Who are these people? Hint, if you care, it is on you too take care of the people you care about on their birthday, to make them feel special, otherwise you equate to whale shit, and you know where that sits................

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Pain free surgery

LOL............ Doctors lie, ok everyone lies but let me tell you, if a doctor tells you something will not hurt, hit them, smack on the nose, and call them a liar.

I have a dentist and he had to pull a tooth once, promised me a painfree extraction, then laughed, and reminded me there is no such thing as a pain free recovery. He told me the truth, never felt a thing while in the chair, afterwards I was a mess for a couple of days, but hooked me up while in his care.

now md's?? They seem to invent new ways to harm you, ok end result may be better, but the process? wow. So from now on I am going to make a deal with a doctor on a 1-5 pain threshold scale when they say pain free, and if they lie I get too:

1. I get to thump you on the noggin.
2. I get to pinch that tender spot on the back of your arm
3. I get to punch you square in the nose
4. I get to kick you in both shins wearing pointed boots
5. I get to jump up and down on your genitalia while wearing sharpened golf spikes and carrying a 100 pound backpack.

Now mr. man, how much is this really going to hurt??

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Dear Sanjay, Oops, real name.

Hello. You wish to pop in, act tough, and run. Congradulations. you want to scream racist, very typical, you wish to pretend to be smart, good luck, You like to act tough, yet missed.

No, I do not agree with everything Aaron Clarey writes. No, I am not anywhere near as conservative as Aaron, but I can respect him, as opposed to you. I think your village was founded by its idiot.

Aaron, though extreme, puts his own photo on his blog. He says what he believes. He is unafraid to do so, this is a respectable trait.

You; posed as him, used his photo, posted things as yourself yet pretended to be him , presenting them as his words. You; are a coward. You; hide behind a mask, and hope no one ever knows. You got sued for doing so, and promptly changed everything, wrote in third person, altered the photo, even changed the name of the blog. COWARD. IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT, STAY THE COURSE.

Mostly since the second you got in trouble, you did not man up, apologize and admit being wrong, you hid. You claimed parody, when you forgot to mention that you:
A. Were not actually someone else. Even used their name and photo.
B. Had zero humor in what you wrote.
C. Represented your perspective as someone else's words.

This is not parody, this is identity theft, this is libel, this is incredibly weak.

Here I am.

Here are my views on some subjects. March 31st 4 republicans . Who are you???

I am real, you would really say nothing if you sat across a table from me. It would require quick thought, which is beyond you. It would require looking another man in the eye and being a man, something you have proven you are not. Sitting there you would have to face a real consequence, the chance I may lean over and bitch slap your liberal ass back into the 60's where you might be lay-able. Actually, the liklihood.

Personally, I hope your great grand kids Work 3 jobs, live on food stamps, welfare, and hold PHD's, trying to pay off your arrogance, trying to pay off your lawsuit of cowardice. I hope I get called to testify that you did indeed pose as Aaron, that you did represent yourself falsly, that you are in fact a coward, a liar, and the worst that can happen, you earned.

Not because you are predictable and scream bigot, a person like you has nothing else to use as a shield, and since you know shit about me, my family, or anything else, it is your only weapon as well.

Run little girl, you have nothing here, you are my #1 fan (thank you stat counter) and read me daily, Run. Learn what Jesse and Al have never learned, just because I hate you, does not make me a bigot, it makes me smart, makes me see through you.

The biggest weakness you possess, is a desire to remain anonomous while spouting crap. Post something as yourself, show yourself. expose and actually be vulnerable to attack, as yourself. Aaron, who you hate yet have never met, (I have, and will withhold personal opinion at this point) at least has the balls to do this. You hate this, since you do not have the same balls yourself.

So last thoughts since laptop is dying and I can not get up to plug it back in yet.

Run bitch. RUN. Hide at Berkley. You are playing adult games, and are not ready. This one would hurt you, the other one is suing you, and all of this.............. Is admissable.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Bored??? Build

What to do on a cold day in a warm climate?? build something. As explained I have become the wine manager, so aside from daily ass kissing phonecalls begging me to sample product, pick up product, or generally not tell some wine rep with a sales quota they are falling short off that something sucks. I get an abundace of wine crates.

So rather than be cold outside in a dog park or something like that, I decided this morning to actually recycle something. So i built shelves, ugly aren't they???